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Pookie Bear
Anti-Pookie Bear
Light and Dark. Good and Evil. Love and Hate. Happiness and... Cajetas. Cajetas. A duality in
and of itself. On the one hand, a seemingly delicious caramel treat, packaged in a quaint little cup
displaying a smiling happy bear face. But beneath its grinning visage lurks a disturbingly thick, viscous,
grainy substance that manages to be sweet while leaving behind a distinct salty, brine-ish aftertaste.
Cajetas, I curse your name.
The Cajetas rig: spoon utility and gritty carmel
At first, we were uncertain as to whether we had actually found a bad candy. I mean, I enjoy caramel
a great deal; as much as the next fellow. And so when my roommate brought home a pack of Cajetas,
which rather resembled caramel itself, I was uncertain. I had doubts. And for that one faltering moment,
when my defences were down and my hopes were up, I would pay a dear price... the loss of my soul.
Cajetas be damned.
Jesus, that looks really... delicious...
To be certain, Cajetas does not TASTE nearly as bad as Tamarind or,
God forbid, Saltidos. The flavor was actually close to being tolerable.
It was the CONSISTENCY that made me want to vomit my innermost essence out of my nose and onto
the ground around me. When mixed with saliva, Cajetas creates the illusion of having a mouthful
of watery mud, including the hard, rocky granuals (sugar? salt?). Yet for all of its liquidy
sweetness, the Cajetas also retained a semi-solidified, gel-like state.
And it all came together in what truly was one of the most god-awful experiences I had ever put my
mouth through. It was the equivalent of trying to chew on hair gel mixed with sand. It was like
immersing your mouth in hot chunky peanut butter, and finding out afterwards that IT WAS NOT PEANUT
BUTTER. It was like naked jello wrestling at a crowded rodeo on a hot, sticky summer day in
Texas. It's like your mom coming home and catching you trying on her underwear when you were eight
years old. Actually it's nothing like that, and I would never have done such a thing... but if
I had, it would've been because of Cajetas.
And so, to summerize: DON'T.
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